Meditation: Part 1

This morning, I woke up, stretched, rubbed my eyes, and thought "Oh crap, it's meditation time." I'll admit I was both anticipating this, and dreading it. I  told Lucy to shut-up and go back to sleep (not the most peaceful thoughts before meditation, I admit), and then I sat down "indian-style", placed my hands facing up on my knees, and took three deep breaths. I immediately started worrying about my posture. To sit with a straight back, engages my abdomen, which means I can't really relax. But I feel bad slumping over my lap. So, I straightened my back, leaned slightly forward, and started to pray. 

I prayed first, because I felt it was reckless to open up myself to the universe without first speaking with the God that has given me His Spirit. So, I prayed. My prayers are personal and often intense, so what I prayed about will stay between the Lord and I. Suffice to say there was a lot of thankfulness, and a lot of supplication. And then, I mediated.

The stillness was pretty good. I could stay stationary, even when my left foot fell asleep. The goal is 20 minutes in the state of listening to God. I breathed deep. I tried to fill up every inch of my body with my breath. I tried to focus on these words "hum sah", which means "you are that, being everything" in Sanskrit. I was mentally quiet. Well, quiet for me. 

My request, unspoken, was this, "Speak to me Lord." I must report that I didn't hear a booming, mountain-shaking voice saying, "Mandy, I'm here. I want you to move to Calcutta and eat bugs. You will be known as the selfless, Calcutta-dwelling, bug-eating follower of Christ."Alas, I heard nothing but my own breath, my own thoughts, "hum sah, hum sah, hum sah." I did this for a while, and then I rose out of meditation. I prayed again, asking God to keep me mindful of his presence throughout my day. I was feeling kind of proud of myself, and greatful for the time I had spent with God. Then I looked at the clock.

I had been meditating for 7 minutes.