Ah, my first blog. Will I use it? Only time will tell, but I will try. I would like to take a moment and thank Tara, whose blog was the inspiration for the creation of this one.
Well, as many of you know, I had lap-band bariatric surgery on July 1st, 2009. I did it for many reasons, and I thought I would explain some. For most of my life, I have seen myself as pretty, and my weight rarely held me back. I would choose to "power-through" situations that would be more comfortable if I was smaller. That was until my senior year of college. After my grandfather died, and my boyfriend ended things with me, I fell into a pretty serious depression. My eating disorder (it's only now I can actually say that with confidence that it was, actually, a disorder) from my childhood came back. With a vengence. Food became my closest friend. I would eat so much, that I would become sick, and have to purge. It was one of the darkest years of my life. I never thought I would be able to talk about it, because I was in such denial about my addiction to food. I'm only writing about it now, because I can see it for what it is, and because I want to help other people who have this problem.
When addicts are confronted with their addiction, they usually are in serious denial, and only really realize the problem in "detox". It wasn't until the last few weeks, post-op, that I realized how much my life is based upon food. My days were filled with planning my next meal, and then I would inhale it so fast, I barely even tasted it.
So, how am I doing now? Well, I'll be honest. Each day is much more of a mental struggle than a physical one. Although when I get hungry, I am REALLY hungry, and when I'm not I am REALLY full. But it still takes alot of concentration on my part to think on things that are NOT food related. Some days I get depressed. Each day that I finish without eating bad foods, and without obsessing over what I can't eat, is a huge accomplishment. I've lost a little over 20 lbs, and I have hit a platau... I have been at the same weight for 4 days, which is difficult on me mentally. I'm anxious to get a "fill", or have my band tightened on August 5th. It's a difficult climb, but I'm looking forward to overcoming this part of my life. Thanks to all of you for your support.
On to another topic. I am trying a new church. I love First Baptist Friendswood, but the fellowship is difficult.. I don't really fit in the college class very well. I'm older, and I have a career. But I'm not married, so I'm in between classes. So I've been trying Sagemont. I haven't been to a class, but I went to the Awaken service, and it was awesome. I'll be going back in two weeks.
And on the last note... it's almost MY BIRTHDAY! I'm so excited that I have plans, since my plans last year, were to watch Newsies with my just-met friend Aubyn and her husband. Nuts.
The Birthday Plan
* Friday- Spa with Tara and Beth, Dinner with Tulsa friends, and then the Wild Horse Saloon.
* Saturday- Dog Park with Lexi, Lucy, Tara, Beth and I. Then dinner with the family, and WICKED with Beth!!
* Sunday- Birthday with the family, including Grandma
* Thursday- Actual Birthday- Beth, Ashley and I. My balcony. Sparkling Wine, Clove.
* Friday- Howl at the Moon with the Houston group!!
*Saturday- Recoop. I'm thinking a Mani/Pedi.
Well, that's it for my first blog. Not too bad.
